20 Mar How to Turn Your Man into Mr. 50%
I am thrilled about The Richer Sexscoring the elusive Time Magazine cover but stunned that men at home haven’t caught up with the shifting workplace. Even in homes with two working parents, men are not doing even close to their fair share of the housework.
I won’t lie. I chose a great husband, a fifty percenter who doesn’t think twice about pitching in on half of the home front, but let’s face it; if you are like most women, you haven’t married the 50% guy. And you are likely terrified to approach him with the idea or the insistence that he be one. So if you are doing your unfair share of work at home, here are six ways to get your man to turn it around:
1. Change Your Lingo
Stop framing this as “helping.” We “help” when it is not our primary responsibility. Assert yourself. You work hard at work like he does so there is no reason the home front shouldn’t be shared by your husband.
2. Set High Expectations
Your husband is likely to meet the expectation you set for him. Avoid comments like, “Would you mind cleaning that…?” Given the choice, wouldn’t you opt out of cleaning, too? Expect he will do what you think he should and watch the change.
3. Spend Time With Other 50% Families
If you are socializing with couples in traditional roles, his bad habits will be supported. If you are spending time with a modern family who boasts a fifty percenter, your previously lazy man will quickly feel like a sloth and get to work.
4. Be a Cheerleader
As he adapts to being a partner at home, don’t hover to find him doing things wrong. Instead, catch him doing something right. And don’t forget to tell him what a turn on it is to have him carrying his weight at home.
5. Communicate and Plan
Just as you divide responsibilities at work, do the same at home. Don’t expect your partner to know what needs to be done. Set times to talk with him about the calendar and split up the tasks. You don’t need to share each role. Instead, you pay the bills and he sets the doctor appointments or you do the cooking and he does the dishes.
6. Go on Strike
If all else fails, stop nagging; just come to a grinding housework halt. Stop doing the dishes, taking out the trash and doing the laundry. Have him resent the pileups and see your point with his own eyes, until he feels the need to change it by pitching in.
Finally, remind him and yourself that your kids are watching your every move. Having a 50% husband serves as an example for the whole family and ensures that you will raise sons who will help out at home and daughters who will marry men who are partners. Pay it forward.
Samantha Ettus is a bestselling author, media personality and speaker, passionate about helping working moms to design a successful and happy lifestyle. Please share stories about your quest for the 50% home at firstname.lastname@example.org or connect with her @samanthaettus.
To read this article on Forbes, please click here.
Samantha Ettus is a bestselling author & corporate speaker. The Pie Life: A Guilt-Free Recipe for Success and Satisfaction will be released in September.