10 May Working Moms and Their New Mr. Rights

When I arrived at Mom 2.0 Summit last week I was surrounded by leaders and influencers in the mom space. I had just written about the New Mr. Right so husbands were on my mind but it turned out that they were on other minds too.

First up was cocktail hour where I met a couple of high power single women and we talked about why the new Mr. Right needs to be part of the equation. And then, a conversation with a woman I have long admired who shared her own story of marrying Mr. Wrong. It took health issues and years of exploration for her to get rid of the negative and unhelpful man that had hijacked her spirit and her home. Her story was uplifting because she is now more powerful and happier than ever before, no longer controlled by a bad decision she made years ago.

There were other working moms I met who had found their Mr. Rights and I found inspiration in their stories too. I learned that…

1. Mr. Right is There to Take the Kids Out of Town

Brene Brown’s terrific keynote led me to watch her TED talk again. What struck me was the time she was knee deep in research and needed to sort through it all. She matter of factly mentioned that her husband “left town with the kids because I always go into this JacksonPollock crazy thing where I am just writing in my researcher mode.”

You have to envision what that time would be like had Brene’s husband not been there for her. He is a partner and he gave his wife the space to make her magic.

2. Mr. Right is Mr. Comfortable

If your husband is modeling some sort of Don Draper version of manhood he is not on the Mr. Right spectrum. I loved hearing aboutMeredith Sinclair’s husband who at 6′ 7″ skips down the street in their Chicago neighborhood and doesn’t care who is watching. He is comfortable in his skin and is not be motivated by what others think. Oh so Mr. right!

3. Mr. Right Can Be Hard to Accept

Kristen Howerton reminded me how strongly our family histories are imprinted as legacies in our own stories. Kristen explained that because she was raised in a more traditional family, when she arrives home to see her husband with a baby in one hand and cooking with the other, she occasionally experiences pangs of guilt about what she “should be doing” as a mother.

And then there is me. Every time I called home during the conference, the kids were laughing and my husband who had his own work craziness earlier in the week,  was now not only entertaining our three kids, but half the neighborhood kids as well. I even bragged about my super husband on Facebook before boarding my flight home. He’s amazing, right?

I arrived after my baby, Bowen, was sleeping and the next morning when he was up at the crack of dawn, I ran in his room to shower him with kisses. And Bowen was a startling vision – with a giant scrape on his nose, a cut on his lip and a sty on his left eye. A vision alright. What happened? Husband: “A skateboarding accident.” Me: “A 20 month old?!” I was reminded that Mr. Right is not Mr. Perfect.

Samantha Ettus is a bestselling author, media personality, speaker and lifestyle designer for working moms. Connect with her at samantha@samanthaettus.com or @samanthaettus.

To read this article on Forbes, please click here.

Samantha Ettus is a bestselling author & corporate speaker. The Pie Life: A Guilt-Free Recipe for Success and Satisfaction will be released in September.